Tales of Gotham
by Drabble Box
Summary: A collection of one-shots from the Batman franchise. General Batman characters. Rated M for certain one-shots. Some Nolan-verse, some not.
1. Insanity in Sanity

Insanity in Sanity

* * *

><p>"We're the same, Batman." The Scarecrow whispered.<p>

Batman held the masked doctor by the collar of his shirt. "We're not." He growled, bringing the masked villain's face closer to his own.

"Oh," Crane held up a finger. "We are." Batman dropped the man to the ground and turned away, the sirens sounding in the distance as the police sped towards the scene.

The Caped Crusader said nothing as Scarecrow stood. "You see, Batman, we have the same drive." He told the other man. "You strike fear into the hearts of your opponents. I strike it into their hearts, their soul. We both use fear to control the ones that try to stand in our way."

Batman turned his head to the man. "I am not the same as you."

"But don't you see, Batman?" Scarecrow asked with a smile in his voice. "All of your enemies are part of you. I am your drive, Joker is your opposite, Catwoman is your heart, Harvey is your confliction, Riddler is your mind, and the list goes on." He chuckled to himself.

Batman closed his eyes. "We are not alike." He repeated. "I am not like any of you."

The sirens got closer, ringing in Batman's ears.

"You are all certifiably insane." He turned to Jonathan Crane.

"Yes, but Batman, have you ever gotten yourself looked at by a doctor?" Crane asked, holding his Scarecrow mask with his hand. "You'll have your certificate soon enough."

The screeching of tires sounded as the police arrived with medical assistance for Scarecrow's victims. The shouts of orders reached their ears.

"We are a super sanity, Batman." The Scarecrow told him.

The GCP arrived and took the madman away, his laughs filling Batman's ears. Jim Gordon came to stand beside the Dark Knight.

"The crazy shit…" he muttered. "What has he done to these people this time? We can't get them to stop screaming."

Batman turned to the Commissioner, his stone cold expression in place. "He told them it was sanity."

* * *

><p>I got this idea today reading some Batman stuff. I found it an interesting idea. So I wrote this small exchange. I think I might be getting a little better at writing Batman. I love his character. He has so much freaking depth. And I threw in a small tidbit of BatCat if you squint.<p>

**R&R**  
>It makes me happy!<br>Katie


	2. Lovers by Day, Rivals by Night

**Lovers by Day, Rivals by Night**

So I was on a Batman/Catwoman picture search and I was just all jumpy and happy about BatCat! So I sort of got an idea to write a quick one-shot about them… because I adore them together. OTP all the way! They love each other so much… and I want to experiment writing with Batman, and Catwoman too. So uh… here goes nothing.

* * *

><p>She didn't really need to steal any more jewels. There was nothing that caught her eye during the day as her alter ego.<p>

Perhaps it was just boredom that she was stealing tonight.

But even as she slowly entered the museum, no alarms being tripped, she knew that all she wanted was for _him_ to be watching her, ready to spring and stop the thievery.

The Batman. He invaded her thoughts when she didn't want him to. He was her other half. By night he was the bat, by day Bruce Wayne, she Catwoman by night, and Selina Kyle by day.

It was a fairytale gone bad. Falling in love as their day selves, only to discover the other's hidden identity. Lovers by day, rivals by night.

Carefully, she plucked the shining jewel from its mantle with ease. One could hear a pin drop in this place. There were no footsteps, no almost-silent whoosh of his bat wings descending upon her.

It was a quiet night in Gotham. The Joker and Harley Quinn, the usual trouble in the city, were locked safe and sound in Arkham Asylum for now, accompanied by Scarecrow. The Riddler was lying low, plotting another plan to foil Batman's intelligence. Ivy had decided to be a bit lazy recently, tending mostly to the plants in her hideout rather than all over Gotham, once and a while popping her head out to assist the Riddler ever now and again.

Catwoman was positive she was the only one of consequence out tonight.

Yet there were no sounds of the Bat as she exited the way she entered. The noises of his presence, which she had come to know so well, did not interrupt the silent city.

Disappointed, she made her way back to her apartment.

With a sigh, and a final look out over the night, she turned to open her window. But a light wind broke the calm air and she pricked her ears.

Without turning to face him she asked, "Come to take me away?" Referring to the stolen jewel and broken law.

"I wish I could." He answered quietly in his oh-so-reserved voice.

Turning to face him, she connected their eyes. He was all the way on the other side of the rooftop, yet his eyes still pierced her heart. "Has the Bat finally accepted my superiority?" she smiled, her red lips twitching into a smirk.

He sighed. "Selina…" he started.

She held up one clawed finger. "Don't. Don't start with me, Batman."

"I can't continue doing this, Selina." He answered, taking his long strides to move closer, a few paces apart from her. "Pretending I don't know you as Bruce, yet having to fight you every night as Batman."

Looking down and away from him, she said, "You're the one who made that decision."

"It's not as if you make it easy for me." His voice was always so maddeningly calm. He motioned toward the stolen jewel she'd stored within her belt. "I can't become a hypocrite to all I stand for."

She rolled her eyes at him. "What you stand for?" she scoffed. "Bruce, you're just a man. You are a man who dresses up as a _bat_ and 'saves people'."

"Coming from the woman who dresses as a cat and steals precious jewels?" He lifted his chin, his voice never betraying his demeanor.

"What I'm saying is that no one really cares what you do with your life, just as long as you continue to be the Batman." She placed her hands on her hips, becoming increasingly irritated with his calmness.

"I continue to be Batman to stand for justice against crime, righting wrongs that a corrupt law cannot. If I betray this, I am betraying myself." He took another step toward her, his voice stepping to what could be possibly mistaken as a plea. "Selina, please. Stop this."

She narrowed her eyes. "You're asking me to give up the only thing that ever allows me to see you. You refuse my calls during the day, yet you won't let me walk during the night. You _imply_ you want to be with me, yet never say it. What if I like who I am, Bruce? What if I don't want to change? Why do _I_ have to give up everything to be with you?"

There was a shift in his eyes. "Because _we_ want to be together. And we can't do that as Batman and Catwoman. We can't be rivals during the night, yet be able to go home and sleep in the same bed."

"So where does that leave us?" she asked, her tone of voice shifting. She was quieter now.

"Where ever you choose it to be left." He answered, holding out his hand.

They made eye contact. Her eyes bore into his. "Do you want to be with me?" she asked him, quietly. Her voice was serene.

He advanced towards her, his hand still out. "Do _you_ want to be with _me_?"

She stared at his hand for a moment, then reached down and gave him the jewel, freshly stolen. He pursed his lips, unsure of how to take the gesture.

They stayed this way for a full minute, both staring at each other and the jewel. Then, finally, he turned around and left her standing on the roof. Normally there was a kiss before he left her. But tonight's conversation ended much differently than any other. There was never such an unsure consensus between the two. He either forcefully returned the jewel, or she got away. Tonight, there would be no fighting.

The next morning, Selina woke up after a horrible night's sleep. She didn't see Batman again the night before. Maybe they were finally through with one another, and they could move on with their lives.

Perhaps she wouldn't be so livid every time she saw Bruce Wayne on the television with another woman. It should be her by his side.

Going through her normal morning routine, she dressed, ate, and readied herself for work.

The phone rang. She crossed over to it before grabbing her keys and leaving. With a smile she read the Caller ID. Picking it up slowly, she waited a moment then said, "Hello Bruce."

* * *

><p>I know. It was horrible… But still. I really love BatmanCatwoman. They are beyond perfect for each other! It's so cute and I love it a lot and… AH! Okay. I'm done being a fangirl.

Anyways, I plan to maybe write more in the future… hopefully I can stop sucking so much at it. Writing sad Catwoman is difficult… I need to write a just plain ol' Batman one-shot, then a Catwoman one and see where that goes. Writing The Joker is much easier for me because I like… study him.

Alright. I'm done ranting. Thanks for reading! Take the next step! Review make Katie happy. How about some constructive criticism or helpful hints? It would be much appreciated.

Katie


	3. We're All Mad Hatter

We're All Mad Hatter

* * *

><p>"Please…" she whispered. Her sweat drenched blonde hair stuck to her pale face in the most beautiful way.<p>

The Mad Hatter placed a napkin in her lap, running his hands between her legs with greed, unable to tear his eyes away from her as she squirmed under his grasp.

He ran his hands up the rest of her body and she shivered, hands grasping the chair armrests, her veins sticking out from the pressure. He took her small, delicate face in his hands.

"Oh sweet Alice," he whispered back to her. "You're only a child. You know not of the wonders that I can offer you in our personal Wonderland."

Tears slid down the young girl's cheeks. "I… I want to go home." She pleaded.

"Now, Alice, what have I told you?" he asked, his voice sweetly menacing.

She hung her head, and did not answer him.

"Alice!" he commanded, grabbing her shoulders.

"I am home!" She sobbed, finally answering him.

"Correct." He smiled, releasing her. He poured her some tea, dropping two sugar cubes into her cup, and proceeding to do the same for himself. "And we shall never be found down here. Together forever in our Wonderland."

Alice sat in silence, staring ahead and seeing nothing.

"Drink your tea!" he smiled. "It's not polite to stare, dear Alice."

With shaking hands, she reached out and picked up her cup. Her hands were small and delicate. He'd found the perfect Alice after months of searching. Her face was young and beautiful, and her body, while not fully having grown, had an alluring spell that drew him in.

The rats scurried across the table, tipping over cups and sugar, breaking the china. No matter. The only precious thing was before him, sipping her tea with shaking hands.

"Come Alice," he said suddenly. She jumped, dropping her cup and spilling it on the table. "It is time for bed."

He stood and gathered her in his arms, cradling her to his chest. He brings her to a small bunk.

"The small bed is temporary, dearest." He whispered to her. "When I'm able, I'll bring a larger one for you to rest comfortably on. Will you accept it as it is now, dearest Alice?"

"Y—yes." She answered, her voice quivering.

Overjoyed, he did a small dance. "Fantastic, my Alice." He said gleefully. "Let us retire. You need lots of sleep to keep yourself looking as beautiful as I know you are."

He ran his hand down the length of her body, delighted by the chills that rose on her baby-soft skin. "Ah, Alice." He whispered. He loved the way it rolled off his tongue. "Your beautiful names sounds as though chimes to my ears, though not as lovely as hearing your voice." He sighed contentedly. "Let me hear you say it, Alice my love."

"I—" she started, but dropped off.

"Say it." He ordered in his admiring tone. "Say it to me, my Alice, and we shall sleep now." He laid her down on the bed and watched her. "Say it to me."

"I… I love you my Hatter." She said, practiced.

Chills ran up his spine as he heard the words escape her small, timid mouth. He could not contain himself as he ran a soothing hand across her body, massaging the tense and pleasuring spots for her.

He found himself ecstatic at the surprised moan that ran off her tongue as his hand brushed lower and lower. The inexperience child lay beneath him, writhing in this emotion she knew not yet of. And he found immense pleasure in that. He wanted nothing more than to introduce her to this new feeling. A feeling he was saving only for himself.

"You like this, my Alice?" he whispered, his voice growing husky behind his lust.

Her hands fondled around, and she hugged herself as he continued his assault on his body. She groaned again.

"Alice?" he repeated. "Does this please you?"

She breathed heavily and moaned in return.

"Say it, my Alice."

"It pleases me so, my Hatter." She told him. "Please allow yourself more, my Hatter."

"Oh my dear, sweet Alice." He whispered, growing hungrier. "Please say it again."

"I love you, my dear Hatter! It pleases me, my Hatter! Allow yourself more, my Hatter!" she said. This young girl who so unknowingly gave away her innocence from inexperience.

And this man who, oh so happily, obliged.

* * *

><p>Creep-tastic, right? Sorry, it's kind of demented. I got this idea a while ago while watching <em>Batman: The Animated Series. <em>Which, of course has not pedophilia undertones. I have just always seen the Mad Hatter as such a creeper and kind of a pedo. I mean… he's obsessed with _Alice in Wonderland _for Christ's sakes. I don't understand how he couldn't be. But this is some random demented drabble from my mind.

_**I DO NOT SUPPORT PEDOPHILIA! **_  
>That is not what this is. Just for a small disclaimer.<p>

**R&R**  
>It makes me happy!<br>Katie


	4. The Fence

The Fence

* * *

><p>In an ideal world, he could be with Selina. Bruce and Selina.<p>

However, in the world he lived, they were nothing but Batman and Catwoman. And sadly, the sound of that rung better in his ears than if they were nothing more than just Bruce or just Selina.

Selina Wayne sounded outlandish and stupid. She was Selina Kyle. She was Catwoman. He was Bruce Wayne. But more than that, he was Batman.

With his self-appointed role of the protector of Gotham City, Batman knew that with this, came consequences. He didn't think he would miss a normal life. He didn't think he'd ever miss out on love.

But just like the presence of Batman created the presence of psychopaths like the Joker, came the presence of other masks. Allies like Robin, Batgirl, and Nightwing. And adversaries such as Hush, Scarecrow, or Black Mask.

The one that affected him the most was Catwoman.

She was caught on the fence between two realities. Was she the thief and villain she attempted to be, or was she Batman's ally as she frequently played the part of?

She was the cat in the tree, and Bruce was the firefighter coming to aid her. And there in lies the problem.

_Bruce_ is the rescuer. Something Batman can never be for Catwoman. She chooses to walk that line. She chooses to be unpredictable and as slinky as a cat. It's something Bruce can never bring her down from. And it's something that Batman cannot reach.

Because cats have claws.

He runs beside her fighting crime. And then he stands to face her as she attempts to take a precious jewel. When will be the day he stands between her and murder, or the day the stands between her and a ring on her finger?

She makes him walk that line with her. And he stays. Because he knows that he keeps her from slipping and falling.

Batman and Catwoman are just that. Everything goes unspoken, perhaps a kiss or exchange of love every so often, but all in all, they will never be a whole. Just pieces of the whole that should be there. Unable to meet to form.

She is his biggest weakness. He is her only weakness.

* * *

><p>My second attempt at BatmanCatwoman. The first attempt was not good… And I was inspired today. So here it is. What do you think?

**R&R  
><strong>It makes me happy!  
>Katie<p> 


	5. My Name

My Name  
><em>Dark Knight Beginning<em>

* * *

><p>He climbed into the back seat of the car. He didn't bother with a seatbelt.<p>

"Three of a kind, let's do this." The henchmen on his left said as he turned the corner.

"That's it? Three guys?" the right one asked.

He expertly loaded his gun.

"Two guys on the roof." He held up two fingers. "Every guy gets a share—five shares is _plenty_."

The other cocked his gun. "Six shares." He corrected. "Don't forget the guy playing the job."

"He thinks he can sit out and still take a slice." The driver said. His displeasure was apparent. "I know why they call him_ the Joker_."

In the backseat, he smiled and his mask shielded it from their view. And all he could think was: _no you don't_.

* * *

><p>Random idea late at night. I wonder what Joker thought when the guy said this. Just a thought.<p>

**R&R**  
>It makes me happy!<br>Katie


	6. Cut

Cut  
><em>Post-Dark Knight<em>

* * *

><p>The Joker was settled in his chair. He stretched his arms out in front of him, as if settling down to watch a good movie.<p>

"I hope you're comfortable," said the stiff male doctor standing across from him. The table was safely in between the two.

The clown shrugged. "I've seen better days."

The doctor nodded and, like a piece of wood, sat down in his chair.

Joker laughed. "Calm down, doc. I won't bite," he giggled.

He managed a weak, scared smile, trying to please the murdering psychopath that was seated only a few feet in front of him. "You're confident in yourself," he blurted.

The scars stretched across the Joker's face as he let out a half-amused chuckle. "And why shouldn't I be?"

"You think you're untouchable." The doctor's words were flying out of his mouth without consent.

The Joker's face became serious. "If you cut me, I bleed." he said. "I'm not invincible."

The doctor stopped, surprised by the insight his words brought.

Then a smile cracked through his lips. "I just choose to cut others first." And he began to laugh.

* * *

><p><strong>R&amp;R<strong>  
>It makes me happy!<br>Katie


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